Mismatch Appreciator Gifts

"I'm sorry, I think there's been a typo."

"We’re going to have to be very discreet. We don’t travel together, and we don’t dine together."

'Well this is awkward.'

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"I hate it when we fight."

'He always tees off like that. He used to throw the discus in college.'

'I think we took a wrong turn between the seventh and eight holes.'

Large, wrinkly

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"Here's your sweater back."

"Cat with nine still lives"

Alligator Bars

Dog steals a cricket ball.

"Apparently, if you understand it, you don’t understand it."

Good Kitty No More.

BEWARE! Cheshire snake in the grass!

'My socks don't match, but neither me nor my socks care.'

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

"Looks like there was a mix-up. Apparently the tank we ordered went to Vinny's Joke Shop in Hoboken, New Jersey."

"I found the problem with your dryer. . . here are a bunch of socks you probably thought were lost!"

"The good news is that you'll be immortalized in a world-famous painting. The bad news...your face is stuck like that for life!"

'To be totally honest, our ship of matrimony is taking on water.'

"This won't work, Josh. I'm bottled water. You're tap."

'I'm trying to make restitution for shredding the sofa.'

'I'm sure looking forward to relaxing when we get to the summit.'

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

'You are a credit to the human race, Yardsley. Unfortunately, you're a liability to this firm.'

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

Cat sitting atop sleeping woman's head uses long straw to drink from glass in her lap.

"That's why we call him 'Slick'."

"Good Lord! He picked the salad fork!"