Mismatch Mischief Pillows

I'm a 10.5. What, litres?

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

'okay...where did you hide it?'

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Hey, Jeffrey...I've got a physics question for you...The queen of static electricity is exempt! Hail me!!'

Too much monkey business...

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

Photobooth Photobomb

"No Joke! I taught my dog to fetch coffee."

"Gesundheit!"

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

"Here's a buck, kid... Don't tell your mom I snuck out of my retirement home!"

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

'Puppies' at that playful stage where he likes to rearrange the furniture.'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

That fateful day when curiosity actually DID kill the cat.

'Out. How come?' - 'Off side.'

'It's every SNOW flake that's different, Billy - Not every CORN flake.'

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

'It's a new record, mom - there are six of us in here!'

Cat and mouse with elecrtical outlet.

"I guess breakable things need to be more careful around me."

Ref shows footballer green card.

'The real fun comes when we go through airport security.'

'Stop fooling around, I can hear my dad coming out of the shower...'

"My dad ate my homework."