Mismatch Marvel Pillows

"On the internet you said you were tall."

'Out. How come?' - 'Off side.'

'It's every SNOW flake that's different, Billy - Not every CORN flake.'

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

"I like that everything is mismatched. I just think it could be mismatched better."

'When is science going to explain the dark matter I find in my belly button every morning?'

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

'My socks don't match, but neither me nor my socks care.'

"But can you afford two tickets to Africa?"

"Aw yeah, twist on the exhale! Twist on the exhale! Yeah yeah!!"

"I found the problem with your dryer. . . here are a bunch of socks you probably thought were lost!"

"Wait? I thought it was a 'look'?"

'I'm a court jester -- my socks aren't supposed to match!'

'Let's go back to your place. I want to put all your CD's into the wrong cases.'

'What the... I told the dating agency to send serious candidates only!!'

Lost Property: "How can I help?"

Unsuitable hospital reading material.

I'm a 10.5. What, litres?

"He began his career as an interior house painter, and stuck with the tools he was comfortable with."

The Origin of Laundry Day

Never let your girlfriend pack your parachute.

"Sold, to the gentleman with the paddle."

'When I asked to go somewhere nice and warm, I didn't mean inside your trendy jumper.'

One day in a boat out in the pacific. . . While at the same exact moment in a slum apartment in Brooklyn, N.Y....

'Missed!' (acrobat holding his partner's gloves)

"The odd thing is that I'm not really a cat person."

"Don't get me wrong, you're a good tiler but maybe you should go back to your old job..."

"You guys have sold me wrong parts three times! Your ad says 'Auto y Rod employees are the friendliest experts in town.' What can we do about this?"

'Sorry about wearing odd shoes. Luckily I have an identical pair at home!'

"And how would you feel shooting your arrow for a really bad match?"

'...And when the bell rings, come out fighting. But first, please switch your cell phones to 'vibrate.''