Mismatch Mania Pillows

The Origin of Laundry Day

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

Alligator Bars

'If this is 'Office Team Day' why are we wearing different colours?'

'Out. How come?' - 'Off side.'

'It's every SNOW flake that's different, Billy - Not every CORN flake.'

"Looks like there was a mix-up. Apparently the tank we ordered went to Vinny's Joke Shop in Hoboken, New Jersey."

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

'My socks don't match, but neither me nor my socks care.'

"Aw yeah, twist on the exhale! Twist on the exhale! Yeah yeah!!"

"I found the problem with your dryer. . . here are a bunch of socks you probably thought were lost!"

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

"But can you afford two tickets to Africa?"

'Painter'

Dating site - buy a dog.

'What the... I told the dating agency to send serious candidates only!!'

'Let's go back to your place. I want to put all your CD's into the wrong cases.'

I'm a 10.5. What, litres?

Unsuitable hospital reading material.

Never let your girlfriend pack your parachute.

"He began his career as an interior house painter, and stuck with the tools he was comfortable with."

Lost Property: "How can I help?"

'So this is what you meant when you promised to take me out for a 'three course meal'!'

"Sold, to the gentleman with the paddle."

"The odd thing is that I'm not really a cat person."

"he was a computer error of the Computer Dating Service"

'When I asked to go somewhere nice and warm, I didn't mean inside your trendy jumper.'

One day in a boat out in the pacific. . . While at the same exact moment in a slum apartment in Brooklyn, N.Y....

"On the internet you said you were tall."

"Don't get me wrong, you're a good tiler but maybe you should go back to your old job..."

"Now make her fall in love with the roommate who's going to quit his job to become a DJ."