Mismatch Meal Mastermind Pillows

'So this is what you meant when you promised to take me out for a 'three course meal'!'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"Baby Jackson Pollock"

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

Schoolboy with lunch box.

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

"It's just that I would be more thankful if we had roast beef."

"Wait? I thought it was a 'look'?"

'I'm a court jester -- my socks aren't supposed to match!'

'There's a problem with dinner - the roast didn't.'

Dating site - buy a dog.

The Origin of Laundry Day

"He began his career as an interior house painter, and stuck with the tools he was comfortable with."

Lost Property: "How can I help?"

'This is Muriel's kitchen, where the magic happens -- you know, Voodoo and stuff like that.'

I'm a 10.5. What, litres?

"he was a computer error of the Computer Dating Service"

"In the kitchen preparation is everything. Here's one I prepared earlier, & here's one I prepared even earlier."

"Baldo, you promised to never bring up the subject of buying a car during mealtime."

Okay, little miss I-Hate-Everything-We're-Having-For-Dinner, do want the pouting or non-pouting section?

"Each one wanted me to wear his Father's Day present first."

'Oh, that is the businessman's lunch, sir -- 'lean and mean.''

"Honestly, I don't know how I cooked all those years before I got the husband gate."

"Vinnie, we gotta talk about what 'bookmaking' means."

'I like to do a lot of business on the crazy golf course...'

"Son, it's bad enough you goof off all day, but your socks don't match!"