Mismatch Meal Mastermind Gifts

'So this is what you meant when you promised to take me out for a 'three course meal'!'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"Baby Jackson Pollock"

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

Schoolboy with lunch box.

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

Mess Hall. The new recruit was assigned to kitchen duty. We have a private chef!

"It's just that I would be more thankful if we had roast beef."

"Wait? I thought it was a 'look'?"

'I'm a court jester -- my socks aren't supposed to match!'

'There's a problem with dinner - the roast didn't.'

'Well. I gotta admit, she did say in her profile that she's an old-fashioned girl!'

Dating site - buy a dog.

Lost Property: "How can I help?"

I'm a 10.5. What, litres?

'This is Muriel's kitchen, where the magic happens -- you know, Voodoo and stuff like that.'

"He began his career as an interior house painter, and stuck with the tools he was comfortable with."

The Origin of Laundry Day

"In the kitchen preparation is everything. Here's one I prepared earlier, & here's one I prepared even earlier."

Okay, little miss I-Hate-Everything-We're-Having-For-Dinner, do want the pouting or non-pouting section?

"he was a computer error of the Computer Dating Service"

"Baldo, you promised to never bring up the subject of buying a car during mealtime."

'Oh, that is the businessman's lunch, sir -- 'lean and mean.''

"Honestly, I don't know how I cooked all those years before I got the husband gate."

"Each one wanted me to wear his Father's Day present first."

"Vinnie, we gotta talk about what 'bookmaking' means."

"Son, it's bad enough you goof off all day, but your socks don't match!"