Mismatch Mavens T-Shirts

"You guys have sold me wrong parts three times! Your ad says 'Auto y Rod employees are the friendliest experts in town.' What can we do about this?"

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

'Gesundheit.'

'Surely they're not ALL still in their offices!'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."

'I'm sorry, he likes to let off wind after dinner.'

Politeness opens doors

'Out. How come?' - 'Off side.'

"Fetch! What about a please?"

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

"Gesundheit!"

'It's every SNOW flake that's different, Billy - Not every CORN flake.'

'Apart from the pain I can't get my hat off.'

'We're in a fantasy team owners' league, we locked out our players and came here to yuck it up.'

"Gotta go. My ten o'clock is here."

'They must have really listened to their mothers about chewing their food.'

Have a nice day, if you are already having a nice day please disregard this notice. (reading letter at mailbox)

'My socks don't match, but neither me nor my socks care.'

'I didn't do the problem because you didn't say 'please.''

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

'All those opposed, signify by using the usual sign.'

'I envy your metabolism.'

Department de Philosophie

"OK, I'll tell you what I know, but I can't reveal my source."

Impasse in the corridor of the National Society of Common Courtesy.