Rivalry Maven T-Shirts

Neighbors tossing leaves over fence.

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

Muscles

"Ninja bread men"

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

"Was that my pager or yours?"

'Gesundheit.'

Ski lift mobile

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

Nature Lovers

"Arthur, I need my space."

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

Nato Membership

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

'I'm sorry, he likes to let off wind after dinner.'

"It's my attorney. Have you seen my list of things about you that drive me crazy?"

'All he wants is sex, sex, sex!'

Politeness opens doors

"Fetch! What about a please?"

"Gesundheit!"

Body Building Mishap

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"