Marathon Maven T-Shirts

'... Say, are you sure we're allowed a lunch break?'

"I got tired of running."

Muscles

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

"Was that my pager or yours?"

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

Ski lift mobile

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

'In memory of our beloved Skippy.'

Nature Lovers

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

So Far So Good

The end is near

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

Team Leader

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

'Knock it off, Gus! This is tough enough without your yodeling!'

Echo Mountain...NO Yodeling! - Falling rock zone.

Moon Martini

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

Body Building Mishap

'I sent an employee to a motivational seminar once. He came back and took my job.'

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

"Remember you have nothing to fear but fear itself, and me of course!"