Misfortune Relisher Pillows

"My entire day has been like this!"

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

'Can our software do that?'

Desert Island Mishap

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

'I told you, if the LA branch steals our thunder, there is no more dialogue.'

"Some days I really wish I had finished med school. Not that I ever started med school."

My own museum.

The Wheel of Life

'I'll just grab a coffee...'

"It's a bit of a 'fixer upper'. You just have to chop down the forest, obtain planning permission, and build the house."

"You just put it in the slot - you don't to push the 'send' key!"

"Thank goodness! I thought that day would never end!"

"Hello, my name is Doctor Crippen."

"The first one depicts our sales compared to Snedly Electronics, and the second one depicts the speed of our corporate jet compared to Snedly's."

"I'm into whole grains and long dirt baths, and I'm looking for someone who's not afraid to cross the road."

'I know I'm a small investor. What makes me mad is that when I started with you I was a large investor."

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

'What a lousy day! The computer, the car, and my stock portfolio all crashed.'

Walter from Gamblers Anonymous

Road ends.

'Misfortune Cookies: A piano will fall on your motorcycle in the near future.'

A dishevelled man holds up his hand

Not your day.

'My wife left me, my son's flunked out of college, my daughter's living with a rock band and I have athele's foot, high blood pressure and you're complaining about a lousy toaster!'