Miscommunication Maven Gifts

"That's not what I said."

"Mr. Nwachuku?", "Extra dressing on the side?"

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

"Bob put a chair with wheels on the table and climbed up to change a light bulb. Then the chair rolled away, Bob fell and... well, I guess we need a new industrial safety specialist."

"Ms. Sweeney, take a letter, a memo, an email, a tweet, a text, never mind...I forgot what I was going to say."

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'Let's begin our meeting. Everybody talk, nobody listen.'

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

"Elective surgery? But I'm not even registered to vote!"

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

You're Employment has been terminated -Smiley face lol

Workplace 17 Days Without An Accident

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure you're single-handedly keeping the U.S. postal service in business."

Next Year's Postal Service Marketing Campaign.

"No, what I said was we need more stakeholders."

'I'm afraid you've got the wrong department.'

"No...I said aperitif!!"

"There's a man at the door with a wooden leg."

"Oops, this meeting is for Data Cloud Services? I thought it was Dodo the Clown Services!"

Lady to other: 'Not the screen, silly - you put the white-out on the CD!'

"If they just added texting to how they calculate GDP, this economy would be growing by 20%."

"Size 16? Sorry, I thought you said 61."

People wait in line at the post office; a poster on the wall advertises "New! You face on a stamp! $50".

'What a silly misunderstanding - you meant I should be home by ten-thirty P.M.?'

'I had a friend who was in an accident almost exactly like yours & he got a $1,000,000 settlement. Well, it was almost like yours. He didn't break a leg. He lost an arm. And he didn't trip over a cat. He was hit by a runaway train. And he didn't lose a

Production line producing production line workers.

Naive to its unconventional approach, Wyatt is victimized by the rare and elusive Mumble Bee.

'OMG! Why is 'trending' trending?'

Priest: '...For richer or poorer,in sickness and in health...' Bride: 'Wait a minute! I need to consult my astrologer on this!'

Your e-mail in the computer

'When I asked to go somewhere nice and warm, I didn't mean inside your trendy jumper.'