Mess Management Maven Gifts

"On the count of 3, we shove our way in again."

Let's get organized

Jack of all trades

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

"I don't have to be a team player, Crawford. I'm the team owner."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Why would birdie need newspaper?

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."

Toddler Feeding Solutions

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

Man carrying his boss.

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

'Office of not much budget, and even less management! Yomp speaking!'

'...and this is the Mess.'

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"What kind of crazy management scheme is this?"

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

'How dare you accuse me of sinking this company?'