Mischievous Readers Gifts

'Psst - we're looking for material that's totally inappropriate for our age. Can you help us out?'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

Recombinant DNA Lab. I'm crossing a pine tree, pumpkin and bunny --- You can use it for three holidays!

A thief steals a heart

A pony throws its rider.

"Okay, you play dead. 1-2-3 Go!"

Monkey Business

"You've been a very bad man and we like that. So now, we're going to send you to London."

'Can't you just bat them between your paws like everyone else?'

Misery lit...

Children playing in a library

Law Books

Killing Santa

Buster got religion in the pound and now works with other bad dogs.

'Don't bother to leave a tip, I had one of your fish fingers.'

"Thanks for bringing the party mix, but. . ."

"When I run away, put my picture on t-shirts instead of milk cartons."

HisssssHerssss....

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?' 'Why can't it be both?'

"What have you done with her this time?"

'A large hole has appeared in the wall of the nudist camp - Police are looking into it.'

'Believe me -- you don't want to know what I did on my summer vacation.'

'Moral of the story? Oh, son, we don't have those.'

'It's been cut all right. Question anyone in the family who likes to read.'

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

"He looks so peaceful when he's asleep."

'Have you seen my husband? I left him by the lobster tank a few minutes ago!'

Boy teasing a guard

"Her name's Snuggles."

'I told you not to argue with the ref, Dewey.'

"Mum said it's OK for us to watch. So it can't be much good."

She was to regret having asked Colin to be more of an animal in bed.

Catching an angel...

'We are sentencing you to eight consecutive life sentences, which gives you one more chance to enter society as a decent feline.'