Mirror Mirror Fan Pillows

"Wow...I'm looking great today...as great as America!"

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

Man Ray

"Use your head, follow your heart and go with your gut."

Thanks to an elaborate system of mirrors, every employee at Vecon Industries had a window view.

"I worry that some people find me boring"

Campaign Trail

'To be honest, I'm sorry I ever asked him for a water feature. . .'

"You see them huddled outside a lot since the smoke and mirrors ban came in."

Development of disgusting new flaws. Loving acceptance of your flaws.

Just Smoke and Mirrors - Gifts For the Easily Distracted.

"You're so vein."

"They may be champagne problems, but they're my problems."

'It's more like a very good used you.'

"Was that the sensitive spot you were telling me about?"

'My gosh...It's like looking in the mirror.'

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

'Boy, you're really into yourself, aren't you?'

'John's animal impressions are particularly good. He not only does the sounds, he does the smells as well!'

"I'm not helping you out of the TAR PIT!! I might break a nail!!"

Artist Painting Herself Infinitely

Fred didn't know what was odder: his wife's beauty tip that hemorrhoid cream reduces bags under the eyes or that he actually tried the tip.

The fountain of youths.

Sunny desert island next to rainy desert islands.

Massage Mushroom Cloud

"Harris....That's not a corporate image!"

'All those in favor of looking at pictures of grandchildren before we start bitching about their parents, say aye.'

"We need to find the packs of filtered cigarettes."

Ray Charles

"Who's the fairest of them all, not using instagram filters?"

'I think it's always looked like that.'

"What is your N-Ration?. . . Selfie per minute Narcissus ratio?"

Man in bathroom surprised by his rude reflection in the mirror.

'He doesn't use drinking fountains. He can't swim.'