Mirror Mirror Fan Pillows

"Wow...I'm looking great today...as great as America!"

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"I worry that some people find me boring"

"You see them huddled outside a lot since the smoke and mirrors ban came in."

'To be honest, I'm sorry I ever asked him for a water feature. . .'

Development of disgusting new flaws. Loving acceptance of your flaws.

Campaign Trail

Just Smoke and Mirrors - Gifts For the Easily Distracted.

"You're so vein."

"They may be champagne problems, but they're my problems."

'It's more like a very good used you.'

'My gosh...It's like looking in the mirror.'

Artist Painting Herself Infinitely

Fred didn't know what was odder: his wife's beauty tip that hemorrhoid cream reduces bags under the eyes or that he actually tried the tip.

'John's animal impressions are particularly good. He not only does the sounds, he does the smells as well!'

"I'm not helping you out of the TAR PIT!! I might break a nail!!"

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

'Boy, you're really into yourself, aren't you?'

The fountain of youths.

Ray Charles

'All those in favor of looking at pictures of grandchildren before we start bitching about their parents, say aye.'

"Harris....That's not a corporate image!"

"We need to find the packs of filtered cigarettes."

Massage Mushroom Cloud

Sunny desert island next to rainy desert islands.

"Who's the fairest of them all, not using instagram filters?"

Man in bathroom surprised by his rude reflection in the mirror.

"What is your N-Ration?. . . Selfie per minute Narcissus ratio?"

'He doesn't use drinking fountains. He can't swim.'

'Where are your glasses, Jack? The mirror is over there!'