Miniature Pet Caretaker Gifts

"The usual, please, Ken."

"Foster failure"

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

"If we play house, Timmy, we can't live with my parents because..."

"You want a generic or a regular sugar pill?"

'Hon, can you fill the dog's water dish?'

'They sure have small litters.'

With Wally the hermit crab showing no signs of life, Shirley yields to her kids' pleas and performs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Dog Food

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

'Where did the little bird go?'

Dog wearing a cone around his waist: 'Hemorrhoids.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

My Bowl Is Empty.

"Your dinner's on the table and yours is under the table."

'Please bow your head and cough. I need to check your hairballs.'

Horse Clean-up

"Tom, did you forget to feed the pets tonight?"

"So Dr. Gracie...how are your patients today?"

"Careful, Len. You'll spook the herd."

"Relax - it's just for a few days until they find a place of their own."

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

'In ancient Egypt, cats were treated like gods and in this house, it's pretty much the same: Come in friend...'

"Yes, it is a beautiful day but what makes you think you can go outside and play?"

'Word to the wise: Always check the cheese for pills.'

Meals on Wheels/Wheelie Bins

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

'Do human beings get ear mites, Doctor?'

Humane Mouse Trap "It doesn't kill them,. It just makes them feel really guilty about inconveniencing you."

'Go ahead, open it. It's a ball.'