Toy Caretaker Gifts

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

"Foster failure"

Santa Claus's Mail

That one has all the batteries!

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

Slinky Cow World

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

'Hon, can you fill the dog's water dish?'

'They sure have small litters.'

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

Juniors Baby Sitting Service.

"You want a generic or a regular sugar pill?"

The Cat Spa

Teddy bear being taken to hospital.

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

With Wally the hermit crab showing no signs of life, Shirley yields to her kids' pleas and performs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

'I really hate cleaning this thing.'

Hell No Kitty

Dog Food

"There's no money in your uncle's will. You are, however, directed to maintain his 5 cats and Facebook account."

'Where did the little bird go?'

"Loves it, just can't get the little fellow off it"

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

Dog wearing a cone around his waist: 'Hemorrhoids.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

My Bowl Is Empty.

"Your dinner's on the table and yours is under the table."

"Oh, Irwin, I wish to god you'd get rid of that thing!"

"Tom, did you forget to feed the pets tonight?"

Horse Clean-up

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

'Please bow your head and cough. I need to check your hairballs.'

"Relax - it's just for a few days until they find a place of their own."

"Yes, it is a beautiful day but what makes you think you can go outside and play?"