Small Pet Caretaker Gifts

Hamster IV

"Foster failure"

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"She's a miniature."

"You want a generic or a regular sugar pill?"

'Hon, can you fill the dog's water dish?'

'They sure have small litters.'

Help me!

With Wally the hermit crab showing no signs of life, Shirley yields to her kids' pleas and performs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

Dog Food

'Where did the little bird go?'

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

Dog wearing a cone around his waist: 'Hemorrhoids.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

My Bowl Is Empty.

"Your dinner's on the table and yours is under the table."

Horse Clean-up

"Yes, it is a beautiful day but what makes you think you can go outside and play?"

The Shepherd's Staff. . .

"Tom, did you forget to feed the pets tonight?"

"So Dr. Gracie...how are your patients today?"

"Careful, Len. You'll spook the herd."

"Relax - it's just for a few days until they find a place of their own."

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

'Please bow your head and cough. I need to check your hairballs.'

'In ancient Egypt, cats were treated like gods and in this house, it's pretty much the same: Come in friend...'

'Word to the wise: Always check the cheese for pills.'

Hamster on dialysis machine 'In my day we'd have had him put down.'

Meals on Wheels/Wheelie Bins

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

'Do human beings get ear mites, Doctor?'

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

'Go ahead, open it. It's a ball.'