Mini Protestor Gifts

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

A baby playing on a grand piano

Tabletop Theatre

One!

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

'I recorded this earlier today. . . they're his first intelligent words!'

"Wait, so his first whole sentence was 'I don't want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day'?!"

'So there we were, driving to day care, when our van was attacked by a giant squid.'

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."

"Trust me, Son, you do not want to 'grow up to be president.' "

'Sorry dad - it won't happen again,'

..And if you unstick my hands from my nose, I promise I won't touch the super glue in my dad's toolbox ever again.

'I'm playing a crowd member in the Easter pageant. I was going to play Pilate 'til I found out I'd have to wash my hands.'

"When I grow up I'm going to become president and I'm going to abolish homework!"

"With the Suzuki method, they start them campaigning as early as three or four."

"I've got news for you. Kids don't have a union and doing your homework is not negotiable."

No toxic waste in my backyard!

'Giving a child a violin is like giving him a license to kill!'

'I'm Timmy Jones of the 'Young Republicans'. I'm collecting to run for president in 2028, and my goal is to be another Ronald Regan!'

"If he can run for mayor, I bet I can be mayor some day too!"

'I'm thinking about running for president. Not this term but as soon as I'm allowed to cross the street by myself.'

"Plea bargaining with my mom is more like please bargaining."

'I'd love to tell who did it, but I'm protecting my source.'

'I'll give you sit-down-strike! Just you get this room tidied up by bedtime!'

"I must be getting good, 'cause my dad told to go play for the neighbors!"

My mom told me never accept gifts from strange men --- I guess I can forget about a career in politics.

B flat

'My first one is obvious making it illegal to ever question me...In that case, it'll be the right for everyone to never question me! Good catch, daddy. Thanks...'

UN climate report

"We're not fighting mum, we're playing peace talks"