Mini Protestor T-Shirts

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

Tabletop Theatre

A baby playing on a grand piano

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

"Wait, so his first whole sentence was 'I don't want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day'?!"

'I recorded this earlier today. . . they're his first intelligent words!'

"Trust me, Son, you do not want to 'grow up to be president.' "

'So there we were, driving to day care, when our van was attacked by a giant squid.'

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."

'Sorry dad - it won't happen again,'

'I'm playing a crowd member in the Easter pageant. I was going to play Pilate 'til I found out I'd have to wash my hands.'

"With the Suzuki method, they start them campaigning as early as three or four."

"I've got news for you. Kids don't have a union and doing your homework is not negotiable."

"When I grow up I'm going to become president and I'm going to abolish homework!"

'Giving a child a violin is like giving him a license to kill!'

No toxic waste in my backyard!

'I'm Timmy Jones of the 'Young Republicans'. I'm collecting to run for president in 2028, and my goal is to be another Ronald Regan!'

"If he can run for mayor, I bet I can be mayor some day too!"

'I'm thinking about running for president. Not this term but as soon as I'm allowed to cross the street by myself.'

'I'd love to tell who did it, but I'm protecting my source.'

"Plea bargaining with my mom is more like please bargaining."

'I'll give you sit-down-strike! Just you get this room tidied up by bedtime!'

"I must be getting good, 'cause my dad told to go play for the neighbors!"

B flat

'My first one is obvious making it illegal to ever question me...In that case, it'll be the right for everyone to never question me! Good catch, daddy. Thanks...'

UN climate report

"We're not fighting mum, we're playing peace talks"

"I'm bringing litigation against everyone who is responsible for my overly demanding socialization."