Mini Jockey Gifts

Rocking Horse

The Computer Bore

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

'How do you like my two-tone car?'

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

Rocking Horse

A day at the transgenic races

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Gamers

A baby playing on a grand piano

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

One!

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

Presenter Auditions.

Gentlemen Riders

'Hand over the last one now kid or you're getting my fist for Christmas!'

First past the post.

'Your father and I support your career aspirations, but we feel you need a new practice space.'

"Wait, so his first whole sentence was 'I don't want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day'?!"

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

Horse racing puns

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

'If I promise to be good for the next 30 years, can I have some sweets Dad?'

'I'm racing him in the 4.30.'

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

Stout gentleman: 'That's the way to get over a gate! I don't think you left me so far behind that time.'

"Dad since my pocket money isn't index linked, you've forced me to have to renegotiate."

Sporting maladies.