Java Jockey Gifts

'Ere! I thought coffee was supposed to keep you AWAKE!'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"Morning, all!"

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

Time for More Paperwork

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

Lumbar support animal

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

A day at the transgenic races

Rocking Horse

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

"I feel your pain."

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

National Boss Monument.

Please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.

"We should have taken the cubicles."

Busy office.