Joystick Jockeys Gifts

Happiness is a warm Ybox.

The Computer Bore

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

A day at the transgenic races

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

Rocking Horse

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

'I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death.'

Gamers

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

"Hi,Honey - I'm Homeboy."

Gentlemen Riders

Internet Cafe.

'Hand over the last one now kid or you're getting my fist for Christmas!'

Presenter Auditions.

First past the post.

"If you're wondering why you've been chosen 'Employee of the week,' it's because your work load is about to increase, while your pay remains the same."

"That damn dog's scratching again!"

You're too old to go back to Camp Owonsit. That's ok. It's all little kids. How about Lake Kinepesakau Camp. It's all jocks. Your son needs an enriching summer experience. Thoughts? How about � Camp Workforaliving? It's all depressing adults.

Business-Class.

"I've notices that you seem to be in the office 15 hours a day. . ."

Horse racing puns

Robert Drake

I am billing, therefore I am.

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

'I'm racing him in the 4.30.'

Sporting maladies.