Desk Jockeys Gifts

"Now, that's more ergonomic..."

I am billing, therefore I am.

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"If you're wondering why you've been chosen 'Employee of the week,' it's because your work load is about to increase, while your pay remains the same."

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

'Are we having fun yet?'

'Your office window has a view of the unemployment office, which should serve as motivation to work hard and keep your job.'

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

In and Out Waistline

Business-Class.

"I've notices that you seem to be in the office 15 hours a day. . ."

"Don't hesitate to tell me if you feel overwhelmed."

"I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't make you work your a** off!"

'Ms. Stevens, I've had four cups of coffee and I'm still sluggish. Would you have security bring in the Tazer.'

'We expected you to grow into the job, not the furniture.'

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

"I'm really behind on all my living."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

Golfing Boss

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"Morning, all!"

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

Time for More Paperwork