Dedicated Desk Jockey Gifts

'You're always so busy, Carter. You come to work early, you leave late, what are you up to?'

"Wait a minute!! First call my boss and tell him that I'm going to miss the meeting! Then call the ambulance!"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

Golfing Boss

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"Morning, all!"

Time for More Paperwork

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

"I feel your pain."

National Boss Monument.

Lumbar support animal

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

Please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.

"We should have taken the cubicles."

Work Slave