Mini Jockey Pillows

Rocking Horse

The Computer Bore

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

'How do you like my two-tone car?'

Rocking Horse

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

A day at the transgenic races

Gamers

A baby playing on a grand piano

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

Presenter Auditions.

Gentlemen Riders

First past the post.

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

'Your father and I support your career aspirations, but we feel you need a new practice space.'

Horse racing puns

"Wait, so his first whole sentence was 'I don't want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day'?!"

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

'If I promise to be good for the next 30 years, can I have some sweets Dad?'

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

'I'm racing him in the 4.30.'

Sporting maladies.

'It's an '07 model. I JUST finished putting it together.'

"Dad since my pocket money isn't index linked, you've forced me to have to renegotiate."

'I mind my mother, and I do my lessons, and I'm here for the quid pro quo.'