Mindful Moaner Gifts

"Complaining empowers us."

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"How's everything here? Let's start with your earliest childhood memories."

Gene Therapy

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

But MOM! It's no fair being sick on a Saturday! Can't I take a rain check and be sick on Monday?

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

'It's called doctor-patient confidentiality. In layman's terms, you're paying me to keep my mouth shut.'

"You've got to want to connect the dots, Mr. Michaelson."

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

"If I didn't worry all the time what would I do with myself?"

'I was happier when I was unhappy.'

Analyst has an ink blot on a card for a head.

"Well, sometimes I'll just hang around and do nothing. Oh wait, that's all the time."

'Sleeping through Monday is the coward's way out!'

"You've got an inferiority complex, alright, but what's worse is...it's not a very good one."

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

"My lifestyle is empty and meaningless."

'We son't have any goal posts to move...I'm going to need your jackets...'

A worm sits in comfort as he has just eaten 4 apples by himself...

"Tuesday mornings don't get enough respect. They should be hated just as much as Monday mornings."

"I went so quickly from hating Mondays to hating days."

'It's my dreams: I find them offensive.'

Conformity

Meditation Munchies

"I hate how we stigmatize eating by calling it a feeding frenzy."

I wonder if they can think...

Al's Health Spa: You are what you eat.

"Yeah. What I remember most is that you still owe me money!"

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

"So … ribs for lunch?"

"Animal Liberation by Peter Singer"

'Diet!...Diet!...Diet!...'

Muses of the Couch