Mindful Masher Gifts

Trash your Worries

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"I feel off. I want to feel off and running."

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"How's everything here? Let's start with your earliest childhood memories."

Gene Therapy

Yoga To-Do

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

'Not now, you'll spoil your dinner.'

Blok conforming, with difficulty.

"I'm hooking up with this guy who makes the funniest typos."

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

"Half-full. Those were the days."

"Too much caution can take all the fun out of life." "Mind if I get a second opinion?"

I am one with stupid.

'It's called doctor-patient confidentiality. In layman's terms, you're paying me to keep my mouth shut.'

'You should now feel relaxed and at one with your whole body.'

'You've cured my insufferable conceit, Doc -- now I'm perfect!'

"If I didn't worry all the time what would I do with myself?"

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

Exercise vs Laxative.

"You've got to want to connect the dots, Mr. Michaelson."

Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...

"You have to fly me up there! I'm the only one who can help Godzilla with his form!"

'It's not flying I'm afraid of -- it's driving to the airport!'

"You’ll get nothingness and like it."

'I was happier when I was unhappy.'

"Well, sometimes I'll just hang around and do nothing. Oh wait, that's all the time."

Analyst has an ink blot on a card for a head.

"You've got an inferiority complex, alright, but what's worse is...it's not a very good one."

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

Never being able to think of the right thing to say at the right time phobia.