Mindful Moaner T-Shirts

"Complaining empowers us."

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

Gene Therapy

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

But MOM! It's no fair being sick on a Saturday! Can't I take a rain check and be sick on Monday?

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

'It's called doctor-patient confidentiality. In layman's terms, you're paying me to keep my mouth shut.'

"If I didn't worry all the time what would I do with myself?"

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

"You've got to want to connect the dots, Mr. Michaelson."

"Well, sometimes I'll just hang around and do nothing. Oh wait, that's all the time."

'Sleeping through Monday is the coward's way out!'

'I was happier when I was unhappy.'

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

Analyst has an ink blot on a card for a head.

"You've got an inferiority complex, alright, but what's worse is...it's not a very good one."

"My lifestyle is empty and meaningless."

A worm sits in comfort as he has just eaten 4 apples by himself...

'We son't have any goal posts to move...I'm going to need your jackets...'

'It's my dreams: I find them offensive.'

"Tuesday mornings don't get enough respect. They should be hated just as much as Monday mornings."

"I went so quickly from hating Mondays to hating days."

Conformity

Meditation Munchies

"I hate how we stigmatize eating by calling it a feeding frenzy."

I wonder if they can think...

'I'm on a diet -- I only eat illusory things.'

"So … ribs for lunch?"

"Animal Liberation by Peter Singer"

Don't sweat the small stuff

'Diet!...Diet!...Diet!...'

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

Muses of the Couch