Mindful Investor Gifts

'Do you mind if I take the rest of my session to get your input on investor psychology?'

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

"Stocks edged lower on the news there's more to life than the accumulation of material things..."

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

Zen and the Art of Portfolio Maintenance

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

Screen Time vs Book Time

Zenemies.

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

I want a calendar where every day says here and now

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

Saving for College.

"I feel I'm doing fine. My sense of net worth is way up this quarter."

'I don't know why Doc, but my life is really upside down...'

The power of the brain

"Don’t think of that tennis ball as lost. Think of it as finally free."

"You are responsible for editing your thoughts. I'm just here to audit them."

"I have this relationship with money, it's complicated."

Still looking for your inner-grown-up, Harold?

'Frankly, I don't see a problem. By its very nature inherited wealth entitles you to be second-rate.'

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

"And you call yourself a socially-responsible investment portfolio!"

'Your problems are caused by all-or- nothing thinking. It's either that, or you don't have any problems.'

"I crunched the numbers until cautiously opportunistic."

'I always answer their questions with a question - it drives them nuts!'

"You can take it with you down here - but no social conscience funds."

'But on the plus side, I felt better about owning a SUV as soon as I bought some oil stocks.'

Elevator buttons read: Way Up/up/Down/Way Down.

'I can feel it, Henderson - Someone out there is up to no good.'

"I worry that some people find me boring"

"If you don't bury 10% of your bones, you'll have nothing when you retire."