Mindful Millionaire Gifts

'Thanks for the meaning of life, but I'll still need money.'

'Frankly, I don't see a problem. By its very nature inherited wealth entitles you to be second-rate.'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind and cashflow."

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

"I feel I'm doing fine. My sense of net worth is way up this quarter."

"Maybe this isn't the right heartless monolithic corporation for you."

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Stocks edged lower on the news there's more to life than the accumulation of material things..."

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

'It's sobering to realize that I'm just a couple of thousand paychecks away from poverty.'

Still looking for your inner-grown-up, Harold?

"I have this relationship with money, it's complicated."

Financial Eyesight

'Do you mind if I take the rest of my session to get your input on investor psychology?'

'I can feel it, Henderson - Someone out there is up to no good.'

"He's very well off. He's got all the quantities I admire."

"I'm hoping to sell my startup - a chain of fast-food meditation centers - to Google for seven figures."

'Nobody understands you. . . do you blame them?'

Unchanged … and yet completely changed. Tao Jones Indexes.

Pollution and money

'Sell during a boom; buy during a bust - that sounds more like Warren Buffett instead of Buddha.'

"Guys, I can't afford to be laid off."

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all money had been in risk-free bonds."

"This morning, I looked into the mirror and said to myself, 'Bruce, you're a billionaire. It's time to stop horsing around and enjoy life a little.' "

"I guess I want what everyone wants - a billion dollars for being a jerk."

"And remember, son, perception isn't reality - money is."

'That makes 3 years in a row they've paid you $20 million. Why can't you seem to get a raise?'

'I like green tea. It's the color of money.'

'You can rest assured that our 'diet conscience' fund invests only in low-fat, low cholesterol food companies.'

"I'd like to pick your brain. Clearly, the one you picked isn't working."

'In my years of meditation, I've concluded that being a prophet without profit is not the path to nirvana.'

"The big money is in development? Now you tell me?"

Enlightenment $5. Hey, I gave you a twency. Where's my change. Change comes from within.