Mind Minder T-Shirts

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

X-ray Psychology.

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

Noreldo, The Mental Marvel, Reads The Mind Of His Cat, Ned:

"Don't even think about it."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

I have to get the Positive Thinker...

Man and brain

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

He tried to be positive, no matter the atmosphere.

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

A gorilla at a cocktail party thinking to himself "Fake it 'til make it".

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

"Well, how can I help cure your severe hypochondria if you keep cancelling appointments due to illness?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

Analyst and patient

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"Half-full. Those were the days."

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

'No more appointments today, Miss Mitchell. I'm all psyched out.'