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"Why don't I go brush my teeth."

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

Car Dentistry.

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

'...Better clear my schedule too.'

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

Analyst and patient

"Well, how can I help cure your severe hypochondria if you keep cancelling appointments due to illness?"

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

This guy is always upbeat and sees the glass as half full. I like riding home like this at the end of the day. It's nice finishing on an optimistic note.

Adam was determined to have a nice, white smile for his big date that night.

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

"Well, Doctor, I can't seem to stop smiling all te time!"

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

'No more appointments today, Miss Mitchell. I'm all psyched out.'

Change your style, learn to smile!

When psychiatry works too well!

'People aren't happy enough...I want a 15% increase in happiness by the 1st of the month or heads will roll!'

"Please point out the problem tooth."

"I'll take your word for it. You don't have to show me your used floss."