Mind Maven Gifts

The Mixed Vegetable Personality Inventory

"I utilize the best from Freud, the best from Jung and the best from my uncle Marty, a very smart fellow."

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

Psychiatry ward with 'Inhibited' and 'Outgoing' trays.

'I wish you had come in to see me sooner, before your phobia had started running wild.'

Human Brain

'No it's not... it's your inferiority complex that thinks its a 2nd-hand psychiatrists couch.'

"The only way you can get a second opinion is to go through fifteen years with another analyst."

"Before we analyze the data, we must analyze the person who came up with the data."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

The day the stock market went UP.

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

In the Guru District

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

Thinking Gears

Apples for sale

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

Guy has framed 'first Yuan'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"National security adviser"

"And this is our media room."

"#Win!"

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.