Mind Matters Enthusiast Gifts

'You have 17 new conflicting messages...'

"'How does this make me feel?' For what you charge an hour - you should be able to tell me."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

Gold versus Knowledge

X-RAY

'I think that's enough brain defragging for today.'

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

The Book of 'Everything You Need To Know.'

"Maybe I'm just making a mountain out of a molehill. I do that a lot."

She's good, but Mom's better.

Dominant Shrink.

"Asides from today's wind-chill factor, what else might you consider all your parents' fault?"

Scott Walker keeps his job.

'Now read that back to me.'

"I'll be answering that question and many more in next week's webinar."

"Experts agree - we need a tax increase."

"You're my ideal client. A man with a LOT of money, in a LOT of trouble."

"We can't go on meeting like this, I'm practically broke."

Reverse Psychology: "It's not not gaslighting."

'Jack, you need to start thinking outside the box.'

"I think he stood on a nettle."

"What if they're right -- what if I do suck?"

Meaning of Life $5.00

"Why do you have to be so smart? You'd be more popular if you acted normal."

"Try letting go."

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

'Behind the Eight Ball'

'How come your notebook has a sudoku puzzle on it?'

Plimbco Bank & Trust, old money division.

'If you were truly enlightened, you wouldn't CARE whether my nose whistles or not!'

'Neither Confucius nor Lao-Tse nor Buddha can help you. You either have a knack for chopsticks or you don't.'

"It's not you, it's me -- I'm a solipsist."

"I put vegetables on my facebook likes just to play with my Mom's head."

"My approach to psychiatry is that all these problems are caused by viruses."