Mind Control Investigator T-Shirts

We have control of you brain.

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

The Map of the human brain

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

Sigmund Freud.

Unguided imagery

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"Have you tried just giving your head a shake?"

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

A Padlock and a Pet Key.

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

"Don't step on the blacks or the nasty bogie man will get you!"

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

"You'll never be a full participant in your mental health care if you keep saying wacky things."

'There is nothing physically wrong. It needs a psychiatrist.'

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

'Relax, it's purely a seasonally affected disorder.'

"'Cogito, ergo sum' is all very well for you, but what about me?"

Confirmation Bias

'You get into arguments even when you talk to yourself ?'

"So. Mr Smith, what makes you think you are too controlling?"

Psychiatrist's diplomas: Guessing and Wishful Thinking.

Garden Sudoku

'Shh, wait! -- I'm getting an astral message from Sigmund Freud!'

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number

"I dreamed last night that I was furious at you for charging me for missing last week's session. What do you think it means?"

"How should I know what I'm thinking? I'm not a mind reader."

'Let's see, here we have the first results from of the brain scanner...'