Human Mind Detective T-Shirts

"You'll never be a full participant in your mental health care if you keep saying wacky things."

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

The Map of the human brain

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

Sigmund Freud.

Unguided imagery

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"Our new automated workers need a little fine tuning, but they're coming along..."

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

"Have you tried just giving your head a shake?"

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

'I'd like to report a peeping tom.'

'There is nothing physically wrong. It needs a psychiatrist.'

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

Newton's Law and Order.

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

"Don't step on the blacks or the nasty bogie man will get you!"

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

Confirmation Bias

'You get into arguments even when you talk to yourself ?'

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

'Relax, it's purely a seasonally affected disorder.'

"'Cogito, ergo sum' is all very well for you, but what about me?"

'Shh, wait! -- I'm getting an astral message from Sigmund Freud!'

Jacques Lacan

Psychiatrist's diplomas: Guessing and Wishful Thinking.

"So. Mr Smith, what makes you think you are too controlling?"

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number