Human Mind Detective T-Shirts

"You'll never be a full participant in your mental health care if you keep saying wacky things."

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

The Map of the human brain

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

Sigmund Freud.

Unguided imagery

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"Our new automated workers need a little fine tuning, but they're coming along..."

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

"Have you tried just giving your head a shake?"

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

'There is nothing physically wrong. It needs a psychiatrist.'

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

"Don't step on the blacks or the nasty bogie man will get you!"

Newton's Law and Order.

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

'You get into arguments even when you talk to yourself ?'

'Relax, it's purely a seasonally affected disorder.'

"'Cogito, ergo sum' is all very well for you, but what about me?"

Confirmation Bias

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number

'Shh, wait! -- I'm getting an astral message from Sigmund Freud!'

Psychiatrist's diplomas: Guessing and Wishful Thinking.

"So. Mr Smith, what makes you think you are too controlling?"

"Really, Mr. Stevens, this fantasy of being turned into a giant frog is absurd. We both know there's no such thing as a curse, and you can't seriously believe your mother-in-law is actually a witch. . ."