Cognitive Detective T-Shirts

"You did very well on your I.Q. test. You're a man of 49 with the intelligence of a man of 53."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"The overthinker"

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

A Young Boy Talking To An Old Gentleman.

Abacus.

Book store has a book called 'Mind Games,' which is floating magically in the air.

"How come I can't remember what I forget, but I always remember that I forgot something!"

"To 'click to enter' or not to 'click to enter'… that is the question."

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

"You'll never be a full participant in your mental health care if you keep saying wacky things."

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

"What are we watching? I don't know. Some show on short attention spans."

"Really, Mr. Stevens, this fantasy of being turned into a giant frog is absurd. We both know there's no such thing as a curse, and you can't seriously believe your mother-in-law is actually a witch. . ."

Brain Bomb Detector

"How learning curves feel... Before: Holy hell During: I'm not gonna make it! After: That wasn't so bad! The next time: Again?!!"

"Do you swear you haven't embroidered the truth in your testimony today?"

"...I have the oddest 'earliest memory' and I wanted to share it. It's just as wekkm I guess. Knowing some man secretly attended my first birthday party has caused me to question my parentage all these years....Especially since Mother Park made me promise not to tell Father that the potted plant was acually J. Edgar Hoover."

"… and a big shout-out to my hippocampus, without which I wouldn’t be standing here saying words."

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

'Your problems are caused by all-or- nothing thinking. It's either that, or you don't have any problems.'

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

"Play the last presidential debate....hold on....first take our all the lies and stuff..."

'I'm the doctor - I'll decide what's chronic!'

"Before I give you my resume, I'd like to know how thorough you fact check."

'You're free to get a second opinion, but it looks like something's wrong with that green thingie by your liver.'

Sigmund Freud.

'I diagnosed you with THAT? Whoa! You patients really need to be more involved with your healthcare!'

"Those are my medals in mental gymnastics."

Pavlov's dog (under a bell).