Millennial Friend Gifts

Ma Rogers

Politically Correct Snowperson

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Fur Baby

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

"We added it just for the millenials."

Woke Jersey Shore

"The season finale of the world is near."

"Yeah, I want a neck tat with gothic lettering that says, 'Welcome to a career in the fast food service industry.'"

"I moved to the Internet to be closer to my children."

"Avocado...t-toast..."

"Things were really different when I was growing up. Childhoods today are much longer."

“Mom, can you come get me?”

Captain Millennial

Man bun tending

"I don't think this is a diner about being a diner. I think this is just a diner."

"I just saw a hipster age perceptibly."

"No, no, no! You're, like, 'I really, really, really love you,' and you're, like, 'Whatever.' "

Millennial

"At least he's being buried with the one he loved most."

"...And those are some of the books I would have read if the internet had never been invented."

"Emotional support person or not, you cannot bring your Mom to work."

"Quick, before the shock wave hits."

"But first we're going to watch your phone die."

Sitting Desk, Standing Desk, Leaning Desk, Sleeping Desk.

"Whenever I meet somebody, I try and accept them for who I am."

Metamorphosis: Nature's Magnificent Reveal

Dumpster Chic....Hipster Chic.

Rosemary's Baby Turns Twenty-Seven

"This counts as one wish, by the way."