Military Skeptic Gifts

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

Privacy Conference Security

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

Alternative Medicine

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

'The cow jumped over the moon? The mouse ran up the clock? Steroids, right?'

'If someone sent an email and the National Security Agency did not spy on it, would it still be an email?'

"The president says it's a weather balloon."

'Since PRISM, nothing is 'off the record' any more.'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

Please be seated. A jack booted government thug will be with you shortly.

"Our constantant surveillance indicates workers are becoming more paranoid."

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

'CIA Surveillance of my senate committee violates the fourth amendment...'

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

'I'm going to be honest about this -- I'm from the Government, and I'm here to bamboozle you.'

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

Obama's surveillance of America.

"I totally meant to do that."

"No, your cats don't bother me. I work under constant surveillance at the office."

"As part of our new privacy policy we stopped using hidden cameras."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."