Military Skeptic Gifts

Know Your Level

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

Privacy Conference Security

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

Alternative Medicine

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

'The cow jumped over the moon? The mouse ran up the clock? Steroids, right?'

'Since PRISM, nothing is 'off the record' any more.'

'If someone sent an email and the National Security Agency did not spy on it, would it still be an email?'

"The president says it's a weather balloon."

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"Our constantant surveillance indicates workers are becoming more paranoid."

Please be seated. A jack booted government thug will be with you shortly.

'I'm going to be honest about this -- I'm from the Government, and I'm here to bamboozle you.'

Turnkey Totalitarianism

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

'CIA Surveillance of my senate committee violates the fourth amendment...'

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

Obama's surveillance of America.

"I totally meant to do that."

"As part of our new privacy policy we stopped using hidden cameras."

"No, your cats don't bother me. I work under constant surveillance at the office."