Military Maverick Gifts

Stealth fighter fly over.

How To Cut The Defense Budget

"If you must know, I'm not West Point – I'm home-schooled."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

'Clem,the doctor told you to get away and relax.'

'Have you any W fronts?'

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

'Sue's troubles with the law began the day she bought that first motorbike.'

"We supply the exercise and nutrition program, but it's up to you to supply the narcissism."

Biker chopper shopper

"Well, I guess this rock sample pretty much clears up any lingering doubts about life on Mars!"

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

'There was an extra 50 miles on my bike this week. I couldn't keep you off the couch, now this?'

"I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology."

Absurd motorbike

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

"Hells Angels, Zamboni Division"

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

Former CEO - Now King of the Highway.

'Andrew loves taking things apart and putting them back together...except he can never actually put them back together...'

'I see you decided to build your own motorcycle. By the way, did you, by any chance, fail shop class in school?'

'When you grounded me to my room, you said no TV or computer. You never said I couldn't build my own bike.'

'You CAN Pass The Turing Test!'

Early Resentment Towards Yuppies.

George Smith Patton

"An election is like a car repair where the car owner has to pay a lot of money to have old broken parts replaced with new broken parts."

"You again?"

"The Vesparados"

Sunburn.

"Yo, Mr. 'Knight of the Round Table' — this isn’t cilantro, it’s parsley."

Waco violence

'Look at it another way. Think of the money you'll save on tires.'