Muscle Maverick Gifts

"We supply the exercise and nutrition program, but it's up to you to supply the narcissism."

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"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

"That's nuthin'. Yesterday he beat up Alex Rodriguez."

'Have you any W fronts?'

"When will you be starting building work on the lower body?"

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

'New Barbeque.'

'And I say he makes us look bad when he rides around listening to those books.'

"The doctor told me I needed to burn some fat, so I'm grilling a steak!"

Macho man body building club.

How To Cut The Defense Budget

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

'Andrew loves taking things apart and putting them back together...except he can never actually put them back together...'

"Iron Man Competition"

Stealth fighter fly over.

"An election is like a car repair where the car owner has to pay a lot of money to have old broken parts replaced with new broken parts."

"You again?"

'Og doesn't believe in eating meat....

'They're automating the bottling process? Why? Just yesterday, me and my team managed to cork four bottles.'

'Look at it another way. Think of the money you'll save on tires.'

'Dave dropped out. He had chest pains and trouble breathing. They think he may have competitive heart failure.'

If Bernie Ecclestone does not get his pound of flesh from Montreal, the Canadian Grand Prix will not roll.

'He's not a doctor or an athletic trainer. He's not even a coach!'

Blow up muscles.

'Oh, no! It's the Boogie Man!'

'I've given up my vegetarian diet - it's just too darn hard to find a vegetarian.'

"This is your Uncle Hernando. He was the strongest man in town!"