Military Lawyer Gifts

"Another outburst like that, counsellor, and I'll order suppressing fire."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"We make crime pay."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Lights! Camera! Justice!"

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

Good Cop, Annoying Kid.

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

Justice 4 Ron

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."