Military Lawyer Gifts

"Another outburst like that, counsellor, and I'll order suppressing fire."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"We make crime pay."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Lights! Camera! Justice!"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

Good Cop, Annoying Kid.

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"There she be, lads, the special economic zone!"

Justice 4 Ron