Military Enlistment Gifts

"What's the biggest problem women have to overcome to fight in the front line?"

"But how can you be sure it's real love and not the draft?"

"Jeremy regrets joining The Swiss Army."

A Soldier's Conscience

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

War never felt the same after the Great Puppy Ambush.

A Rifle Competition in the North

'...and this is the Mess.'

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

'This one is for Hide and Seek.'

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

Didn't Ask, Didn't Tell.

"You don't think rum-filled centers would give his officers the wrong impression?"

"Cruz! Are you eyeballin’ me? Eyes shut during savasana! You hear me? Lance, get up and give me 10 headstand pushups to help Cruz here shut her eyes."

"… and once you've finished advanced infantry training, you'll be assigned to film school."

"Oh yes, I proudly served."

"I liked the one that saluted."

'Let me guess - You want to be a helicopter pilot?'

'Today we're going to simulate rough weather conditions.'

"Joining the Army was great for me son; he learned a skill and gained a world of self confidence. Of course, he still won't clean his room."

'What'll it be . . . too large or too small?'

"It's a great extra recruiting tool. Those who know they can't live up to that quickly disappear."

Passages in the Life of a Volunteer

'Relax - everyone's a bit scared on their first raid.'

GOP senate refuse to pass veterans jobs bill.

'Lose those unsightly man boobs - JOIN THE US MARINES!'

Young man asking his governer to buy him a commission in the army

"When it comes to surviving, you're learning from the best."

'By the way, what are we in line for?'