Enlisting In The Military Gifts

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'Slip Ahoy!'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

War never felt the same after the Great Puppy Ambush.

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

'...and this is the Mess.'

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

'Well, we still think you're a naughty boy, running away to sea like that!'

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

Didn't Ask, Didn't Tell.

"Oh yes, I proudly served."

"You don't think rum-filled centers would give his officers the wrong impression?"

'Let me guess - You want to be a helicopter pilot?'

"I liked the one that saluted."

GOP senate refuse to pass veterans jobs bill.

"Joining the Army was great for me son; he learned a skill and gained a world of self confidence. Of course, he still won't clean his room."

'Lose those unsightly man boobs - JOIN THE US MARINES!'

'Relax - everyone's a bit scared on their first raid.'

Young man asking his governer to buy him a commission in the army

Passages in the Life of a Volunteer

"It's a great extra recruiting tool. Those who know they can't live up to that quickly disappear."

'By the way, what are we in line for?'

Considerate Attention

“Sarge - When do I get to blow shit up?”

"Let me guess... Military, right?"

"And look, Papa, he shaves."

Sympathy

'Well he's always been a hero to me.'