Enlisting In The Military Gifts

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'Slip Ahoy!'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Oh, the armor is state of the art

Basic training w/ GI Joe, Rambo, Bruce Lee, etc.

War never felt the same after the Great Puppy Ambush.

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

'...and this is the Mess.'

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

'Yes, I'm proud to say all my kids went into boot camp as soon as they left home.'

'Well, we still think you're a naughty boy, running away to sea like that!'

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

Didn't Ask, Didn't Tell.

"You don't think rum-filled centers would give his officers the wrong impression?"

"Oh yes, I proudly served."

'Let me guess - You want to be a helicopter pilot?'

"I liked the one that saluted."

Passages in the Life of a Volunteer

Young man asking his governer to buy him a commission in the army

'Lose those unsightly man boobs - JOIN THE US MARINES!'

'Relax - everyone's a bit scared on their first raid.'

"It's a great extra recruiting tool. Those who know they can't live up to that quickly disappear."

"Joining the Army was great for me son; he learned a skill and gained a world of self confidence. Of course, he still won't clean his room."

GOP senate refuse to pass veterans jobs bill.

'By the way, what are we in line for?'

“Sarge - When do I get to blow shit up?”

'Well he's always been a hero to me.'

Considerate Attention

"And look, Papa, he shaves."

"Let me guess... Military, right?"

Plastidad