Military Critique Lover Gifts

Committed

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

Facelook

The Appearance of the Gatling Machine-Gun in 1864 caught the world by surprise.

Ad Valorem

Hague Convention Defied! Failure of the new Tommy-Scalder.

'It's only a slug Norman.'

Really big bang

'It's the Environment Agency. They're sending a leaflet on how to grow gills.'

"So...were they open to negotiations?"

'It was the only white thing I had.'

The True Reason of War. A Little Frontier Incident in Alsace, July 1914.

We're Looking At a Few Good Men

21 Bun Salute.

'March up that hill! And smile once in awhile, will you!'

Sorry

Possum Army HQ. Here's the casualty report, sir --- You have to take it with a grain of salt, of course.

'Completed the pyramid, eh? Now take it down to the ground.'

Acme Rubber Band Co.

"Listen up! When I yell 'hop' you say 'how high?!'"

Hit Or Missler Gun

To recap: Last week, Rudy attended the Sadie Cohen's Attitude Adjustment and Rapid Response Training Seminar. In case you missed it, a flashback. Drop and give me 20 highly-personal insults. Drop? You call yourself a lady? No, wait, what? But then magic happened. Drop, and give me … Pipe down, bearded lady. Rudy Shock Jock is in the house!

"Stop playing around and put it back in you knapsack"

Get Ready for the Next One

The Boche Catcher

Silhouttes

"The 2.3 billion dollar item, is that before or after the manufacturer's rebate?"

'Following government cuts, this is your new kit bag.'

'They always off the mom.'

'Excellent strategy, General...Though I fear the enemy might be full size...'

"Don't panic. It's one of ours!"

"Soldier, you're out of uniform ..."

"Looks like some kinda sleeper cell."