Mileage Magicians Gifts

"You gotta love the mpg we're getting!"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

'At the sales department, we've got to meet our performance targets. We're not here to care about reality.'

"We made a miscalculation, but it's consistent with our over-all strategy."

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

"Well, I'm studying mathematics and I'm sure that's tougher than math."

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

'Thank you, Leo. Nothing like a roar to get us going in the morning.'

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

Pizza time.

'I started out as a yes man, but I've evolved into a plucky devil's advocate who always sides with the boss in the end.'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

Professor of Fuzzy Logic.

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

'My mother says I have a vivid imagination.'

The Forever Stamp

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

"A laptop has been installed in each rest room stall."