Mileage Magicians Gifts

"You gotta love the mpg we're getting!"

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

The Life of Pi

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

'At the sales department, we've got to meet our performance targets. We're not here to care about reality.'

"Help! I'm surrounded by idiots."

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

"We made a miscalculation, but it's consistent with our over-all strategy."

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

"Well, I'm studying mathematics and I'm sure that's tougher than math."

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'Thank you, Leo. Nothing like a roar to get us going in the morning.'

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'I started out as a yes man, but I've evolved into a plucky devil's advocate who always sides with the boss in the end.'

Pizza time.

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

Professor of Fuzzy Logic.

Tommy, Math quiz. It's one of his earliest pieces.

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

'My mother says I have a vivid imagination.'

The Forever Stamp

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'