Profit Magician Gifts

"Your job will be to make these results look Stellar."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

Team Leader

The Life of Pi

Time Is Money

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

'At the sales department, we've got to meet our performance targets. We're not here to care about reality.'

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

Investing your savings

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

"Everything's gone up."

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

"Well, I'm studying mathematics and I'm sure that's tougher than math."

Smiling businessman with rising profits

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

Falling stocks appear to be rising when man stands on his head.

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

Professor of Fuzzy Logic.