Management Magician Gifts

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

"Things are getting desperate...we have to do something!"

'In keeping with the team approach, we've traded you for two middle managers to be named later.'

Team Leader

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

"We met our target of 25% improvement, but that still makes us 100% dead in the water."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'How fast can you hype?'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

"Even if forced to slave all day, in my mind I'll always play!"

Smoke and mirrors.

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

Inkwell Genie.

Stealing thoughts.

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

'When you do the article, is there any way that you can squeeze the factory into the picture?'

"We can succeed if our target audience is not made up of rational human beings."

Graduation day at Telekinesis School.

“What if I tell you the card you are thinking of is … the Jack of Hearts ?”

'I brought Simmons here on board to use his powers of levitation on our customer intelligence.'

'You may have three mergers.'

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

"Office of quality assurance"

Company Share Price - "The god news is we've become a very attractive takeover target, sir."

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

'The good news is consumer confidence is up. And the REALLY good news is consumer gullibility is Way up.'

'It's the philosophy of the company that truth in advertising begins at home.'

'This potion will get you promoted but I can't guarantee a bonus.'

'But what do you sell?'