Mileage Magician Gifts

'We're curious as to why you claimed double the amount of miles you slithered for business purposes over the last two tax years?'

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

'At the sales department, we've got to meet our performance targets. We're not here to care about reality.'

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"Well, I'm studying mathematics and I'm sure that's tougher than math."

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

'My mother says I have a vivid imagination.'

Professor of Fuzzy Logic.

The Forever Stamp

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

"A laptop has been installed in each rest room stall."

'Let's see if we could put a spin on it and get the public interested.'

'Everyone's using your theorem, Pythagoras. I told you you should have patented it.'

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

'What it all means is, ker-booom!'

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

Product Formula - "He's brilliant. But his mind wanders."

A2+B2=C2, 'Are you sure you're not just making this stuff up?'

"Music helps with maths... like which song got to number one... which song got to number two..."

'Johannes Kepler's uphill batle'

'Oh, Wow! You write math books? That's wonderful! Where do you get your ideas?'

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

"Frank, I need your help. The computers are down, but I was told you know how to multiply two numbers together."

"Memorizing the multiplication table is NOT brainwashing!"

"Your truth or not, Roger, it's wrong."