Midwestern Humor Lover Gifts

"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

Dang! My shorts are riding up on me again!

"Call this an iceberg? When I was a kid we wouldn't have called this an iceburg!"

'If you're not doing anything, come on over and we'll shoot the bull!'

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

Cattlemans Saloon.

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

"Good grief, Bradbury! How long have you been working at home?"

'Now, Mrs Althorpe, if you think you see the man who assaulted you, we just want you to touch him on the shoulder.' (Mrs Althorpe beats a man up and then says she doesn't recognise any of them)

"Giddyup."

Sisyphus, 117 million years on

Farmer with gun shots instead of flying ducks

"I hope this isn't the start of an insensitive joke that was once considered funny."

Wanted for Stick Up

"Yes, I can help you with your loan questions. I'm the loan arranger."

The Assistant

Cat cowboy says: 'That ain't no tumbleweed, it's a hairball.'

"Take this, Luke. They say it's impossible to get a decent baguette west of the Pecos."

"It's been a struggle for Carlos to adjust to rural life, but now he's finally been accepted as the village idiot."

American Gothic lol

"Yeah, but I'm sick of the glitter getting all over everything."

'I'm not packing - This is my BlackBerry.'

Evacuation Route.

'Pa will be right back. He's in the media room, downloading some more homespun wisdom.'

"He's doing a mojor renovation from bad guy to good guy."

'Yes, I am looking for an experienced cattleman.'

Hillbilly mall maps.

'How very Putney!'

'You can stay, but get your ass out of town!'

"The mosquitoes are coming!"

"... Oh, he's the fastest in the west alright... The fastest out of the saloon when it's his round!"

"Well, I'll be danged-he's got accordion boots."

Wanted - better artist.

Doc. Bogle: Specializing in Itchy Trigger Finger.